NIU

marriage counseling

Posted by Stacy on Wednesday, May 07, 2008 8:57 PM

Many married people will tell you, being married and staying married is not always easy. It is truly a challenge to have 2 lives in perfect sync all the time. I think in the movie the Stepmom, the father said it best, "marriage is a commitment that even when the going gets tough you hang onto that commitment even if it is only by a thread". Sometimes you don't want to, but you do it anyway. That is my view on marriage anyway. In the vows you say for better or for worse, which does in fact indicate that there will be a worse. I think that when most people marry, they don't consider that they will ever have any worse, but it does happen to each couple and you must hold onto that commitment.

In difficult times, it may be necessary to seek out marriage help. It is something that you can do pretty easily these days. You can find marriage counsleing just about anywhere and even most insurances will cover this. Don't hesitate to admit that you have marriage problems, lots of people hit problems along the path and regardless of how you are feeling right now, this is normal. Having a neutral party to help you iron out the issues you are having my help keep the focus on the problems and not on blaming one party or the other. That is the one thing that you have to be careful of, not blaming. You can't just say he did this or she did that. It takes two people to make a relationship work, and two people to make a relationship fail. Most people don't want to admit that they had or have any responsibility in a failed relationship, but they do. If you notice, it is these same people who wind up in similar relationship situations over and over again in their life, and spend their time wondering how they could possibly be in this same place again. The problem is that if you don't fix what is wrong with yourself, then you can never move on. The only person in the relationship that you have control over is yourself, and that is the person who's issues you really need to address. Your responses to what happens in life, may be eliciting a response from the other person as well.

If you really want to keep your relationship going, then be sure that you address the issues that you have both as a couple and as individuals, and then if it doesn't work, at least you know that you gave it your best shot.