| CAPTAIN TRUTH |
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| Full name: Fuck'n Jeff Balsamo |
| Birthdate: Queens, New York |
| Current Residence: Naperville, IL |
| Role in Band: bass guitar |
| Gear: Fender Jazz Bass, SWR 350, SWR 2x10, SWR 2x15, my face |
| Previous Bands: The Jimmy Kids, Another Letter Red |
| Favorite Quote: "Straight to Jail" |
| Favorite Restaraunts: Mangiano's, and Judy's Kitchen |
| Other Instruments: haha, you know |
| Color: Flesh |
| Tv Show: Friends, Road Rules Real World Challenge |
| Cartoon: Rugrats |
| Movies: Godfathers, Goodfellas, Donnie Brasco, Casino, anything with the Mob |
| Top 5 Bands: Alkaline Trio, Blink 182, Dashboard, Emery and The Academy Is... |
| Favorite Local Bands: Fall Out Boy, Lillian For Now, and Chimera Twilight |
| Favorite *Awesomes* song: #3 |
| Favorite Fan: L to the Bizzle |
| Cereal: kix...kid tested, mother approved |
| Action Heros: The Ambiguously Gay Duo |
| Words of wisdom: "Fuck that" |
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